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Notice that the motivation comes from within, not to please us, so it has to be the child's own interest. Make sure that your child gets plenty of time to initiate and pursue his own passions, which isn't always easy in this age of homework and screen time. Knowing that someone cares, and is there to help him pick up the pieces, is the foundation of resilience. You can't protect your child from the rain that falls in every life. What you can do is make sure that he knows how to find an umbrella, and has the confidence to make it through the storm.

To teach him that, you don't withhold the umbrella and make him stand out in the rain. You provide backup, coaching him repeatedly so he learns how to find or build an umbrella and has the emotional strength to do that, even when the rain pours down. Now's the time to start practicing. Some day, your child will look back and remember that he's dealt with hard times before, and he came out fine. It's your unwavering love that will get him there.

This is all fine and dandy, but what happens when that support system all of a sudden isn't there some day later on in life? I was raised to believe I'll never be alone Life has no guarantees, but you will most likely experience loneliness and not have anywhere to turn at least once in your life, on a major scale.

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Then what? You can be there for your children as much as possible, but no one else will. How do you transition your child from these comforting thoughts to reality, and when? No you don't get it. The point of parenting is to make kids into adults who can function as adults.

That's what this resilience training means. It is metaphorical training wheels and support when they are young so that they can eventually become adults and remove the training wheels. The training is so that they can withstand those times in your life when you are alone. Of course, no one can do that indefinitely, and I certainly am not advocating individualism as a value I think we should support each other in adulthood too! And of course, we need to develop the capacity to help others! So to answer your question, "How do you transition your child from these comforting thoughts to reality, and when?

You take opportunities for them to learn as they come. And you watch to see if they start doing it without you telling them. And then when they are ready due to your fine parenting and preparation, they leave the nest. I'll always remember the day I came home from school, sat on the cellar steps while she was doing laundry and said, " I lost the election.

Laura Markham, Ph.

12 loving ways to raise resilient kids - Motherly

If you want your child to be her best self, find the positive ways she behaves.. Back Psychology Today.

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    Perfectionism Undermines Resilience

    Hoarding A Simple Key to True Belonging. Laura Markham Ph.

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    Follow me on Twitter. Friend me on Faceook. Pay attention to what you say to your kids and around them. Letting kids mess up is tough and painful for parents. But it helps kids learn how to fix slip-ups and make better decisions next time. According to Lyons, if a child has an assignment, anxious or overprotective parents typically want to make sure the project is perfect, even if their child has no interest in doing it in the first place. But let your kids see the consequences of their actions. Emotional management is key in resilience.

    Teach your kids that all emotions are OK, Lyons said. Parents have to learn how to ride the emotions, too. If your child throws a tantrum, she said, be clear about what behavior is appropriate and inappropriate.

    12 loving ways to raise resilient kids

    Try to be calm and consistent, Lyons said. Resiliency helps kids navigate the inevitable trials, triumphs and tribulations of childhood and adolescence. Margarita Tartakovsky, M. In addition to writing about mental disorders, she blogs regularly about body and self-image issues on her Psych Central blog, Weightless. Psych Central.

    All rights reserved. Find help or get online counseling now.

    By Margarita Tartakovsky, M. Avoid eliminating all risk. Teach them to problem-solve. Teach your kids concrete skills.

    Parents Raising Resilient Children

    Avoid talking in catastrophic terms. Let your kids make mistakes. Help them manage their emotions.

    Model resiliency.